Intolerable Cruelty Not based on movie!
by pyxie-dust
Summary: At 24 Draco Malfoy works as an auror for the minstry, he is assigned a case that no one can solve and a criminal that no one can catch. What happens when that criminal is Hermione granger, a dangerously beautiful vixen of a master mind?
1. Mission Impossible

Somewhere in central London, a pane of glass swung open quietly in a Tiffany's warehouse ceiling. A slim figure in a black body suit repelled down from the opening in the roof with a jaguar like grace. Before unlatching the harness they carefully surveyed the dim surroundings. Once satisfied that the coast was clear they pressed the lock and dropped to the floor with a muted thud, leaving the harness suspended from the roof. Pulling a small flashlight from a thigh pocket, they shone the small beacon of light around the warehouse illuminating random glass cases. Inside a distant display the contents sparkled in the light. They smiled and padded over to the mounted case quickly looking behind them constantly for any random intrusions. Removing the small pack from their back they removed a travel size propane torch and they metal face cover. Slipping it over their delicate features and turning it on blue fire erupted from the tip melting the glass like butter. Making a complete circle that a petite hand could fit through they knocked out the glass into the case and gently picked up the contents. 

"Diamonds are a girls' best friend," they cooed holding the jewel to eye level to inspect the necklace. It was a white gold chain with a large vibrant canary diamond adorned with seven pink diamonds as the charm. With one hand still in the case, they accidentally tripped one of the contact sensitive lasers causing a blaring alarm and flashing fluorescent lights to illuminate the warehouse. "Shit," they cursed under their breath. They darted towards where the harness was hanging and began to buckle but a large obtrusive voice stopped them. 

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP NOW! YOU`RE UNDER ARREST!" The assailant lethargically raised their arms, slowly turning to face the cop the precious jewel still glittering their grasp. 

"PUT THE JEWEL DOWN NOW!" 

"Oh, you mean _these _jewels?" They swung the necklace in their hand lightly enough to taunt the officer.

"YOU KNOW WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKING ABOUT NOW PUT IT DOWN OR I'LL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!"

"How 'bout no," before he could speak they had the jewel around their slender neck. They sauntered towards him swaying their hips in a seductive manner. 

"I think I like it where it's at, what do ya think?" Taking hold of the zipper at the base of her chin she brought it down antagonizingly slow and just enough to allow her voluptuous breast to spill out. The charm lie at the peak of her cleavage. The officer was momentarily beguiled allowing her to pull a .7 revolver from her pack and fire at him directly in the chest. He dropped to the ground in an unceremonious heap sputtering blood. Holding the gun to her plump crimson lips she blew imaginary steam from the tip of the gun and tucked it into the scabbard. She zipped up her suit and stared down at the dying man in disgust, 

"Not even in your dreams you geriatric rent-a-cop." She sneered and hurried to harness giving it a hard yank it ascended up towards the opening in the roof with lightning speed. She climbed gracefully out of the window and unhooked the harness and sped off running at full speed across the roof. Inside the warehouse more officers filed in, weapons at the ready. She laughed at their ignorance they would never find anything, no clue of trace or her being there. Pulsing with adrenaline she launched herself off the roof landing with catlike grace on the adjacent Giorgio venders building. Sprinting towards the edge she quickly slipped out of the body suit to reveal a black dress outlining every curve. It was strapless with an asymmetrical bottom and a figure-hugging bodice. She tossed it into the dumpster below with her platform boots slipping into strappy party heels. She removed a black Gucci handbag and tossed the pack with the torch and the harness into the waste bin below. Striking a match on her heel she dropped it also and smirked as it set the dumpster ablaze. Going though a roof exit she hurried down the stairs removing her blonde locks from its restricting ponytail letting it blow behind her like a wave of satin. Right before exiting the building the removed black Oakley's from her bag she set them on her head pushing her long mane of silk away from her face. She strolled casually down Kings street smirking as ambulances, fire trucks, and police rushed past her their alarms blaring. 

"Malfoy, in my office now." 24-year-old Draco Xavier Malfoy sneered in contempt looking up from his mound of paperwork to glare at the speaker box that sat on his polished oak desk. "Yes sir." he muttered with disgust as he rose from his chair to head to the front of the auror headquarters to the chief auror office which belonged to none other than "the-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-pain-in-my-ass." Glaring at anyone who dared cross his path Malfoy took his sweet time, he held absolutely no regard for Harry. Pushing open the door that announced Harry's title in shiny brass letter, he found his boss flipping casually through a manila folder. 

"Taking your time as usual, I see." Harry commented with bossy arrogance, not even bothering to take his eyes off the folder. Smirking, Draco sat down in the cushioned chair across from Harry, he propped his legs up on the cluttered desk crossing his arms over his muscular chest. 

"You know me too well." he drawled. Still absorbed in the folder Harry retorted,

"Does being an asshole come naturally or is it one of your many talents?" Draco picked up a glass paperweight with Harry and his wife Ginny Weasley's picture inside on their wedding day smiling and kissing. 

"That wife of yours seemed to think I was quite talented, or at least that's what she moaned." Harry froze and only moved his emerald eyes to look up at Draco, a hateful fire burning in them. Within seconds Harry was upon Draco a sharp dagger pressed into his pale throat. All Draco did was chuckle, 

"Touched a nerve did I?" He looked from the dagger to Harry and tsked at him,

"Honestly potter, how would it look if the Chief auror murdered one of his own coworkers, I can just see the Daily Prophet headlines." Harry glared at him, shoving the dagger deeper into the flesh causing a thin stream of blood to trickle. 

'Trust me, you wouldn't be missed." Harry growled slowly backing off and returning to his desk chair. 

"I have an assignment for you Malfoy," he commented with an eerie calm acting as if nothing had happened. He spread the folder out in front of Draco, which contained a muggle picture of a gorgeous woman in a scantily clad black dress with her curvy figure pressed into an obscured man. Draco studied it and looked to Harry expecting an answer. 

Harry unsheathed his wand from his robes and waved it in the air muttering something incoherent. The office went dark and a film began to roll on the empty wall in Harry's office showing the same vixen dancing erotically with a small circle of men around her. Draco was entranced; he watched her body pulsate with the music and her hips in perfect time to the beat. She was a goddess, her slim figure with perfect curves in all the right places. A tan sexy body Draco would have loved to get his hands on… The reel ended and the lights flicked back on. 

"Who's the babe?" he questioned with a perfectly sculpted brow raised. Harry smirked at him with an I-know-something-you-don't face. 

"Be careful what you say about her, what would someone do if they heard you say such things about a lowly Mudblood." If Draco's jaw could have unhinged itself and fallen to the floor it would have in that instant, he sat in the chair frozen and shell shocked. 

"That's the Mudblood?" he asked incredulously. 


	2. The official disclaimer in other words i...

A/n: Hey peoplez! What's shakin' bacon! Lets roll the disclaimer!

This is my official disclaimer because I am far too lazy too post it every chapter. I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! I am not the brillaint mastermind of a women named JK Rowling. You all know this already! Come on people! I don't own Hermione Granger, Tiffanys jewelry store, or Draco Malfoy! Even though I would give anything to have the rights to him. Nothing in this story is mine just the plot but I'm sure it has been done times before! 

AGAIN I DON'T OWN DIDLEY SQUAT EXCEPT THIS LITTLE FANCY PLOT OF MINE AND A BOTTLE OF CHEEZ WHIZ!


	3. Club Nyx

A/n: hey people! And my lovely and fantastic reviewers! Sorry to kind of cut this chap. A bit short but I've been having serious writers block! Once you get done, if you would review it'd be awesome! 

"God damn, she's a bloody vixen." he muttered but Harry caught it and his looks became grave and serious, 

"Yes, and also the worlds leading jewelry thief." Draco's blonde brows nearly hit his hairline in shock. 

"No one has be able to catch her, Hermione leaves no trace what so ever, nothing to go on. We've been researching her case for weeks until we received a tip-off from an officer she shot in Central London. She flashed him and he told us she has a dagger with a rose tattoo on her right breast, that's all we could get out before he died." Harry sat back down at his desk and folded his hands in his lap.

'My kind of woman," Draco brushed his long blonde bangs from his eyes and waited for Harry to continue. 

'She was spotted three days ago at a muggle club called 'Nyx', where she took out five men in the alley who tried to rape her, single-handedly." Draco was in awe once again. 

" Hermione has been going under the Alias of Gywnyvyr. She's gorgeous, conniving, and a dangerous murderer." Harry was now on the edge of his desk his emerald eye staring intensely at Draco's slouching figure. Draco looked up at him,

"No offense, _sir…_" he drawled sarcastically, "what does it have to do with the magical world if granger steals some diamond tennis bracelet?" 

"More than you think Malfoy, we have reason believe she is going to go after the Cursed Emerald next. You know the one that has Voldemort soul instilled in it?" Draco scoffed at Harry's logic. 

"What the hell would she do with that?" 

"Who knows? Women and their jewelry.. We just have reason to believe that and it cannot happen." Harry was pacing agitatedly behind his desk chair running his hands through his black wild mane of hair distraughtly. 

"What does this have to do with me Potter?" Draco tapped his fingers on the chair arm lazily.

"Everything and nothing, I need you to find her, gain her trust and get inside her head."

"So basically you want me to seduce the Mudblood?" Draco stated simply. Harry nodded and set the manila folder in front of him. Quickly looking it over he saw at the top it said Hermione Bianca De Langere' Granger'.

"Why me?" Draco stared up at his boss expectantly. Harry let out an exasperated sigh and sat down in his chair resting his hands in his lap.

"You're _exactly_ the type of man she goes for; wealthy, successful, attractive, and If the front desk interns are correct, quite a tiger in the sack." draco smirked haughtily at Harry's forced comment he watched a sour look cross his face a what he said. Trying to change the subject,

"Plus, have you seen some of the men that work in our office, they're trolls." Draco gave his boss a questioning look.

"Why Potter I never knew you swung that way" Malfoy sneered and watched Harry's face go red.

"Shove it Ferret!" Harry exclaimed angrily.

"Empty threats, you forget we're not in school anymore Potter."

"Which means I can kick your ass without getting expelled." Harry whispered in a deadly calm voice. They stared each other down for a moment before the phone rang on Harry's desk startling them both.

"Look Malfoy, there's a lot riding on you with this case, just don't fuck it up."

"Is Granger included in that?" Malfoy asked smugly, Harry picked up the phone covering the speaking part with his palm.

"Just get out of here you bastard before I change my mind." Malfoy rolled his eyes and sauntered out of the room, Hermione's folder tucked under his arm. _What have I gotten myself into? _Harry sighed before continuing his conversation with the Minister of Magic about Azkaban security_._


End file.
